The Brexit saga continues! Last night the June 23rd UK referendum decision to withdraw from the European Union was thrown into turmoil as a High Court ruled that the referendum itself wasn't enough for the government to trigger "Article 50" and thus begin the process of negotiating the UK's exit. Instead the government must now seek Parliament's backing before it can move forward and put into place the will of the British people.
As any regulars to the Cyrus Universe will know, we are very happy any time "The Man" finds new and creative ways to stamp on "The Common People's" hopes and dreams. General Elections should be abolished, democracy should be outlawed, and popular voting should be limited to trivial matters such as Reality TV shows, or which tribute to send to the next annual Hunger Games.
Three reasons you can't trust the public to vote: Mr Blobby, Boris Johnson, and Honey G...
And so, to celebrate this latest victory over "popular opinion" and "democracy", Cyrus held a 'Rocket League Brexit Championships' special event! This took the form of a 2 vs 2 round robin tournament with teams being named in honour of the main players in the Brexit saga.
Here's how it all went down...
Welcome to the inaugural BREXIT CHAMPIONSHIPS, where five teams are pitted against each other who will lie, cheat and manipulate their way through what should be a fair and decisive game of Rocket League, only for the final winner to be decided upon by a central autonomous power rendering the previous results impotent.
The rules are simple:
- Each round is THREE (3) games
- Each game is worth ONE (1) point
- If there is a tie, TEAM CAPTAINS will have a public debate to decide the winner. Each captain will be given 30 seconds to make their case, and then questions from the floor will be allowed. Following the debate, the other teams will then vote to decide who wins, and finally Redh will announce whichever winner he feels like as the winner. No appeals!
Today's teams are as follows:
Slogan: I have a plan to stop everyone "banging on about Europe"
Daemion / Snikmund
Slogan: Immigrants are "coming here to take us over"
Iselore / Axelbaxel
Slogan: "In, out, in, out, shake it all about"
Raffles / Dia
Slogan: We must stop "a movement spreading in Europe where everyone just does whatever they want"
Peedy / Nostrau
Slogan: "A deserter would not be welcomed with open arms"
Hakugard / Redh
TEAM CAMERON [Daemion / Snikmund] 3 - 0 [Raffles / Dia] TEAM STURGEON
TEAM JUNCKER [Hakugard / Redh] 2 - 1 [Peedy / Nostrau] TEAM MERKEL
TEAM FARAGE [Iselore / Axelbaxel] 2 - 1 [Peedy / Nostrau] TEAM MERKEL
TEAM STURGEON [Raffles / Dia] 0 - 3 [Hakugard / Redh] TEAM JUNCKER
TEAM STURGEON [Raffles / Dia] 2 - 1 [Iselore / Axelbaxel] TEAM FARAGE
TEAM JUNCKER [Hakugard / Redh] 1 - 2 [Daemion / Snikmund] TEAM CAMERON
TEAM JUNCKER [Hakugard / Redh] 1 - 2 [Iselore / Axelbaxel] TEAM FARAGE
TEAM CAMERON [Daemion / Snikmund] 3 - 0 [Peedy / Nostrau] TEAM MERKEL
TEAM FARAGE [Iselore / Axelbaxel] 0 - 3 [Daemion / Snikmund] TEAM CAMERON
TEAM MERKEL [Peedy / Nostrau] 2 - 1 [Raffles / Dia] TEAM STURGEON
1st: TEAM CAMERON [Daemion / Snikmund], 11 points
2nd: TEAM JUNCKER [Hakugard / Redh], 7 points
3rd: TEAM FARAGE [Iselore / Axelbaxel], 5 points
4th: TEAM MERKEL [Peedy / Nostrau], 4 points
5th: TEAM STURGEON [Raffles / Dia], 3 points
Congratulations to TEAM CAMERON, a fitting win for the man who made Brexit happen! And bad luck to both TEAM MERKEL and TEAM STURGEON - you put on a good show, but clearly you earned your places in the World Order thanks to gender quotas and not actual talent or skill...
It was a lively evening and some seemed to get into character a little too readily, leading to some match-ups where the overall score was rather less important than the political lashings taking place over voice comms!
All matches were streamed live on Twitch from both teams perspective, meaning we had 5 concurrent streams running all evening. Data and statistics are still being analysed, but I hear that we managed to peak well into the single digits for audience numbers - great job teams! Rumour has it that a certain TEAM FARAGE member is working on a highlights video based on the stream footage and saved replays, although as we know all too well, many promises are made along the campaign trail but are soon forgotten once the dust settles.
Until next time...!
Thank you Hakugard for producing the highlights video!